All the Voices and Choices

not the painting that sold. :)

Last week I sold a painting, and took it as a sign that I was to spend the money to travel.  Then all the exterior and some interior voices started again telling me to get a job and a few other things.  It's funny how everyone judges so quickly that there are jobs to be had.  Or should I say, jobs to be had by me. Or that I haven't been looking for a job.  I will spare you the things people say to me or my other unemployed friends on a daily basis.  (but I will beg you, that if you have an unemployed friend that you haven't seen for a while, please don't let the first thing out of your mouth be "so, do you have a job yet?".  thanks.)

I waited tables in 1986.  I don't drink coffee.  I worked in a flyfishing warehouse 1987-1988.  My extensive (bookstore, parts store, pharmacy, call centers, receptionist, admin assistant) customer service history doesn't even show on my one page resume since I started working when I was 12.  I have a 5 year $50k professional degree and 7 years experience in the interior design field.  Do you think I look good on paper to work for Starbucks, New Seasons or Whole Foods?  How about Zoom Care or Mercy Corp? How about the outbound call center 20 miles away that pays $9 to set appointments?  I'm competing with kids who have been waiting tables through high school and college, with coffee snobs, with people who have masters degrees in social service and with hundreds of other misplaced architects, designers, drafters and want-to-be-such college interns. I'm not strong enough to work in the woods.  I might be able to fight fires. 

I can count on one hand the number of jobs my degree qualifies me for in the last year and a half I've seen posted.  I have been fortunate enough to hear of some through the grapevine.  I've had three interviews.  One second interview. One thank you but we selected someone else.  This only counts the "design jobs".  Out of the other places I've applied to, only New Seasons had the respect to let me know they selected someone else and that I wouldn't be called in for an interview. 

Here's an example of someone who is obviously more organized than I am in record keeping.  Keep in mind we have the same degree and similar over all experience. 

In her own words "i started looking for a full-time job in portland last fall. i sent my very first resume/CV in mid-October. i didn't get anything (not even an interview) so in December i took a long extended christmas vacation with family. when i returned to PDX in january i started looking again in earnest. In early March I shifted my search to looking for part-time work, as I was offered a halftime position at my church."

Total places applied to (FT and PT): 52. Some places multiple times, a la Whole Foods, McMenamin's.
Total number of first interviews: 5; a yogurt shop, West Elm, Macy's, Jimmy John's, Moonstruck Chocolate (3 of the 5 were *group interviews)
Total number of second interviews: 2; West Elm, Moonstruck Chocolate

Total number of personalized hand-written thank you notes received after submitting my application: 1; Sisters of the Road (Side note from Serena - If you are looking to donate to a great non profit, here's more proof!)
Total number of jobs offered that I declined: 1; Jimmy John's bike delivery driver. The hours they offered conflicted with my existing halftime job.


So, maybe the painting that sold isn't a sign to get my TEFL certificate(though I am planning on it) to,  travel or apply for every job I'd hate doing, but rather that I need to bust out more paintings and apply for jobs I'd enjoy. And just ignore the rest of the world who seems to have an opinion about what it is I should be doing?  Yes, I'm venting.  Yes, I'm trying to figure things out.  Yes, I've been crying all day.  :)  and this doesn't help with money or the house, but it might provide some much needed piece-of-mind in the decision making arena.

*For those of you who haven't interview as of late, the new thing to save companies money is a "group interview".  This means that you show up to your interview with 6-12 other applicants and sit in a group and go around the table answering the exact same questions.  

A Return to Reality?

I've been out of work long enough to no longer have an idea of what reality is.

Summer is here but I don't see it or feel it.  I'm cold, tired and feeling pretty frustrated with things.  Myself included.  I'm hoping to paint tomorrow with my long lost best painting friend in hopes that will snap me out of this little funk.

But in the meantime I'll dream of sun, art and a life less complicated than the one here.

Pain and Paint

St. Johns bridge

The last 5 months have been pretty interesting to say the least.  I've been doing more painting than printmaking, which isn't saying too much.  I think I fell in love.  Or maybe I was in love with the idea of it.  But this week I discovered that everything was a lie.  Or at least it seems like that now.  So in the time of heartache and confusion I will use the best self therapy I know.  Art!

The one good thing about being older and having lived through other heartbreak, I know the pain is temporary.  I know I have learned some things. My trust level might have dropped back to the floor and I'll probably return to my jaded anti love self.  But that's fine. At least for now. 

Puerto Jimenez casa

Here's somethings I painted recently.   I couldn't leave you with out some photos!

my first plein air painting

Here's a question for all you artist!  Can you call a painting of yourself from a photo a self portrait?  I personally think you can't.  Thoughts? 

 in progress from photo

Happy 2012!

Wishing you Love, Happiness, Art and Adventure! 

Here's a little inspiration!  I may not agree with all of his philosophies but I felt like it makes a good point of practicing the craft! What ever your art form may be, practice and craftsmanship is always important!


Edward B. Gordon - on iNCONTEXT.TV from dutch rall on Vimeo.

Brrrr!

I'm still trying to get acclimated to the colder temperatures since I've been back.  Catching a cold didn't help.
BikeCraft was a success!  I've just updated my Etsy store (use coupon code: facebook for 15% off) and I'm trying to organize my life and thoughts. 

You'd think that after one year of unemployment I'd have figure out what to do with my life.  Or found a job I like.  I'm not sure which is more difficult.  I do know I need to clear out the more clutter from my house and sell more unnecessary items. But I'm really missing my paint brush! 

Looking forward for the new painting action!  New household organization and some hot toddies!  :)

Back in Black

To quote the classic AC/DC:
Back in black
I hit the sack
I've been too long
I'm glad to be back  
Yes I'm, let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging about
I keep looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high  
Forget the herse 'cause 
I'll never die
I got nine lives
Cat's eyes
Usin' every one of them and running wild"

Ok, that might not exactly describe me or what I've been up to, but I am back in Portland.  I've had 6.5 weeks of adventure.  And as the German expat I met on the dock told me, sometimes adventure is difficult.  But totally worth it.

But now I'm back in the "reality" of unemployment ( year one, month 1, day 29) and I really need to make some real life decisions.  {side note: I can NOT believe how fast time has flown by!}

And before you ask, yes, I have been applying for jobs in my field, yes, I did apply for jobs while I was away.  Yes I did apply for an awesome job this morning.  The autoresponse I recieved said this:

**We regret that due to the high volume of applications we receive, we currently only contact applicants who are highly qualified and most closely match our job requirements. Again, thank you for submitting your application.**

 

While away I taught English as a second language for part of my trip.  I absolutely loved it.  Prior to that I did indeed apply for the Peace Corp to teach English, but that application process takes at least 1 year.  That also would not really solve the problem of this house.   This house has become a burden.  Every month I make my mortgage payment I wonder if it should be the last month.  I can't sell it, as the value has dropped 50K+ below what I owe.  I can't rent the entire house to cover the monthly payment.  So I've moved into the garage and have rented out the two bedrooms.  I share the garage with one of my roommates bike repair shop, the washer, dryer, furnace, freezer, hot water tank and kitty littler boxes.  It's interesting.  :) 

 

Where am I going with this?  I wish I knew! I guess I just wanted to say hello and to let you know I did not get eaten by a puma while away.  Tomorrow and Sunday I will be selling prints at BikeCraft and need to get ready!  

 

I leave you with this photo from my trip! 

Yes, I was trying to pry this Spider Monkey off of my, while it was biting. No broken skin thank the kitties!

Summer is Over?

Well, it is for a few days anyway.  I'll be fleeing the country in 17days!  I'm headed to Central America!  All part of my mid-life crisis.  Number 3 as far as I can tell.  The current crisis always seems to be the worst one.  

I haven't turned my back on the art dream, just needed a break from it.  I really enjoyed summer! Swimming, camping, beaching and spending as many hours as possible absorbing as much vitamin d as I could.

And now, fall clean up, packing, and planning for the future will ensue!  Who knows what the future will bring.  Plus the future never gets here.  We only have today.  So let's live it while we can!

xo!