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Saturday, March 26, 2011

If at First I Don't Succeed, Try Try Again?

I have a confession to make. and it's not a pretty one. I don't like doing things I'm not good at.  I've never been one of those people who can take a look at a part of themselves that's weak and work to make it stronger.  I have to already have an interest and a natural ability for it and then I am more than happy to develop it.

But that's not to say I can't/don't work hard, or that I can't learn new things.  It's just that it doesn't come naturally to me.  So it's hard for me to keep going at something when I feel like I'm failing. Like applying for jobs, applying for art things, getting out of bed in the morning. haha Some days it's a lot like this! 

Right now things feel a little sucky.  Rome rejection, another job rejection, some other art issues that feel like failure. But then I read a story about Hideaki Akaiwa diving in to the tsunami to save his wife, and then 4 days later putting on that diving gear again to find his mother. Or a heart wrenching story about how socks and letters are making people happy when they have nothing left. And about all the people and animals who are dead, devastated, or displaced in Japan and I feel really ashamed and weak.  I have nothing to complain about compared to thousands of people in Japan.  Don't even get me started about the rest of the world.  Not to mention the people I know who are struggling with their health, or people who have been unemployed a lot longer than me, or the homeless just down the street.

How do you keep perspective when the little things add up and seem bigger than they are?  I have a great life! It's just when the pressure of the "norms" weigh in it gets hard to remember that.  Expectations that I should have a *career working 40+ hours a week, a health plan, a 401k with thousands of dollars, a bigger house, etc. can cause me to question my desire to make art and my overwhelming urge to travel.  A *prestigious job,a big house, a new car, fancy clothes, none of those things are important to me.  We all need reminded of the great things we have in our lives, so I made this for me.  It's certainly not fancy, but it gets the point across.  :)

I'm going to try to remember the good things and try not to let the every day "life" things add up and get in my way!

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope it's sunny where you are!

*But that's not to say if I had a job I loved that it wouldn't fulfill some of those desires to create and make difference in other peoples lives. If I could only find that job creating art that would save the world! :)


Nancy Cuevas said...

I agree Serena... you are very lucky in so many ways.

I think many of us struggle with meaning. What does it all mean? Even when we have the job and things are well at status quo we still struggle with that question.

Jenner said...

Love your drawing. :)

Jennifer said...

Hey, awesome post and definitely thought provoking. I agree you have all those things and more to be happy about and may I add... mad haiku skills, elegant hairball making skills, exceptonal interior design abilities, green thumb-ness, worthy words-with-friends prowess, I could go on......xoxo

Almost Monday said...

Thanks Jenner! I should actually draw more. most of the stuff I do is really sketchy before I turn it into a print! and I don't draw before I start a painting. Drawing = a little rusty!

Jen - I think you are in the running for my biggest fan! Don't tell my mom! :) Thanks!!

Nancy - Thanks as always!! xoxoxo

Robin said...

No one can be a bigger fan than me!

Jennifer said...

Yes, I don't want to step on Robin's toes for biggest fan props - especially since I know I'm her favorite!!! Behind Serena, of course.