I recieved this email prompt this morning!
Personal Recipe by Harley SchreiberI do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”
(Author: Harley Schreiber)
So here is my response for the world to see! Ok, maybe not the world, but at least a few loyal readers! :) And I do thank your for reading!
My Personal Recipe!
I do not want to be a Bitter, Negative, Hatful, Discouraged, Sad, Jealous, and/ or Inferior feeling person, now or 5 years from now.
I don’t think anyone sets out wanting to be a Bitter, Negative, Hatful, Discouraged, Sad, Jealous, and/ or Inferior feeling person. But it happens all the time. It might start with a small hint of one of those emotions and then snowballs. How can I avoid having those feelings? I may not be able to avoid letting those feelings slip in, but I can avoid letting them take over and running away with all hope and happiness.
For me things like assumptions, over expectations, non-clear communication, not being assertive, and not dealing with past issues are sure fire ways to attain all the emotions and to become a person that I do not want to be.
Assumptions: Remember the Odd Couple? One of my favorite quotes was “when you assume you make an ASS out of YOU and ME. I remember this from childhood and probably because of the “sware” word. But it is true assumptions can cause all sorts of trouble! So I try to ask, rather than assume. It’s pretty simple when I remember to do it.
Expectations: Wow, this is a can of worms! Expectations of other people and of yourself can be hard to get a grip on. I’ve found some balance between expecting the worst and non-realistic expectations. It’s hard, logic comes into play, and for some, including myself; logic is hard to remember when emotions start popping up! But if you stick to the facts it makes it easier.
Assertion and communication: These too often go hand in hand. If I’m clear about what I want, need and expect from others and myself there should be a clear outcome. And if there isn’t then at least there a place to start to figure out where there breakdown occurred. This goes from dealing with employers to boyfriends. This is what I want from the relationship, how can we make it happen? Clear communication is a great tool for planning and goal setting. This is what I want, now what are the steps I can take to get there. Being clear and honest with oneself and others leaves very little room for misunderstandings, which lead to hurt feelings and eventually resentment. If my feelings have been hurt, the best way to resolve it is to bring it up to that person. They may not even be aware that it happened. A misunderstanding of what was said could be at fault. I need to give them and myself a chance to work it out. Harboring hurt feelings leads to resentment and negativity. Some people think that a person cannot be assertive without being aggressive, this is not true. Being super angry to be able to stick up for yourself is probably not the best way to go about it. :)
Forgiveness: Forgive and forget? Ugh. Wow this is a tough one, at least for me. Of course there are different levels of injustice, assuming it was actually an injustice and not an imaginary situation that I haven’t clarified. For me I can forgive someone but it’s very difficult to forget. Regaining/re-giving trust after an indiscretion is very difficult. I think forgiveness can happen without trusting the offender, but this may be up for discussion. Of course this will vary depending on the situation i.e. professional vs. personal relationships.
I don’t have the key to being a positive & happy the entire time person thing worked out just yet. If I did, I’d be marketing these steps in an e-book, and I’d be rich by now! No one wants to feel bad, but some people don’t know how to feel good, and the closest thing they can come to is justifying why they feel bad. That person did that; this person said this, etc. etc.
I will not be that person, now or in 5 years. I want to be in control of my emotional destiny and physical destiny too! I want to be a positive person for myself and others. I may have bad things happen in my life and still be disappointed with things that surround me, but that doesn’t have to make me who I am. I think I am much more than the sum of my experiences.
Who do you NOT want to be in 5 years? Or who DO you want to be? Happy Sunday!